The Art of Meeting People Where They Are
This vacation post begins in a funny place: a visit with my 8-year-old great-nephew, Harrison. During a recent visit, our conversation took me into a curious and foreign landscape populated with unusual characters and interactions. When Harrison opened his sketchbook, I saw a catalog of what turned out to be a plethora of Roblox characters. It soon dawned on me that to connect with Harrison, I had to start from where his mind was at. I verified his commitment to Roblox with a “show of hands,” holding my hands apart and asking him how much time he devoted to thinking about Roblox. He proudly registered it at 95%.
I share this story for two reasons: first, to describe where Harrison is at, and second, to highlight how crucial it is — whether in the classroom or during spontaneous encounters with fellow travelers — to meet people where they are.
As a teacher, I’ve found that the most meaningful connections with students happen when I understand the world they’re coming from. In my classroom, this starts with an exercise where students sketch out their earliest defining moments. It’s a way of understanding not just their artistic skills, but their personal journeys — the experiences that have shaped who they are. Throughout the course, I refine this picture through the numerous drawings they render, so I can help them along their way. The same principle applies in leadership and innovation: by understanding where team members are — what drives them, what they’re passionate about — we can create an environment that fosters creativity and growth.
On my current trip to Bali, I realized how much this approach applies to travel as well. Each encounter with a fellow traveler was like a pop-up mutual learning experience. Within a few words, we had to get a read on each other — gauging each other’s openness, interest, and curiosity — before seeing where the conversation would lead.
Take, for example, the Serbian couple I met. At first glance, they seemed distant and insular, uninterested in engaging. But after a simple question about their nationality, a lively conversation unfolded. We discussed everything from their life in Bali to their professional pursuits. I now follow a. “vibrantly alive” instagram influencer that is dramatically different than the reserved woman that was first sitting beside me, and I’ve connected with her thoughtful husband by email.
Or consider the 34-year-old Russian woman who unexpectedly joined our conversation. She initially fit the stereotype of Russian travelers as remote and inexpressive. But liveliness and candor soon broke through. She shared her journey from Russia to Turkey and her entrepreneurial shift from photographer to a clothing line in Bali. Her openness was a reminder that when we meet people where they are, we can find a safe space where we can learn as much from them as they might learn from us.
The two middle-school girls I met in Jogja, Java, were another example. They approached me on the street with curiosity and eagerness. Their questions about my background and creative pursuits mirrored the enthusiasm I see in my students. By the end of our conversation, their entire class had joined in. I love the fact that they thought being part of a creative family was “cool,” and that they had creative pursuits of their own.
Then there was the heavily tattooed Australian artist. His intense focus on his intricate line drawing hinted at an introspective world shaped by a challenging upbringing. Our conversation revealed a guy disillusioned by a narrow-minded society that had failed to recognize his creative potential. Here was someone who could have thrived in a more liberal world struggling to find his place. I was lucky to gain insight into his journey and was reminded of the importance of creating spaces where people can express themselves freely.
Whether in the classroom, with Harrison, or while traveling in Bali, the lesson is the same: meaningful connections start with understanding where people are. By meeting them there — whether it’s in the imaginative world of Roblox, the creative landscapes of a sketchbook, or the varied experiences of fellow travelers — we open the door to deeper, more impactful interactions. Meeting people where they are is not just a strategy — it’s a mindset, one that enriches every interaction and every relationship, whether at home or abroad.
After Harrison professed his deep commitment to Roblox, he put his hands together into what could be described as a Namaste gesture and said, “This is how much I think about math.” (aka 0) And keeping them together, this much about History,” and “English,” and then tentatively, with a hint of joy, he widened them 4” apart and said, “Art.” I like to think there’s wisdom in his use of this universal gesture of connection to communicate what he’s about.
